Cats With Twenty Nicknames Struggle With Identity Crisis As They Stop Responding To All of Their Names

by Jack

Cats are weird. So are humans. Especially ones that own cats. In this instance both the cat and the owners are equally confused about what's going on here.

This cat, named Fluffy, used to be a boisterous kitten like most others, until some years passed and the outrageous number of different names that he was attributed started to tear away at his soul, pushing him towards some sort of feline existential crisis.

Known to have as many as 20 nicknames has slowly confused the kitty to the point of oblivion. Seen wondering aimlessly around the apartment, and no longer responding to any of his many names.

“When I first got Fluffles, he would come whenever I called,” she said tearfully. “But now, my poor Admiral Fluffington doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He spends all his time wandering aimlessly around my apartment, a shell of the psychopathic kitten once was. He doesn’t even like spontaneously biting me in my sleep now.”

Owner Jenny Harding said.

“We see this a lot in felines, unfortunately,”

explained veterinarian Catherine Greenwood, who has looked after Fluffernut Squash The Third Earl of Fluffex And Grand High Sheriff Of Fluffingham his entire life.

“As the years go on and the names build up, the cat will begin to lose any and all sense of who they are. It gets worse as the names pile up. The only cure is for the owner to stop coming up with more and more adorable nicknames. So it’s usually quite hopeless. Poor Fuzzyberry.”
“I’ve never known her cat’s name,”

he huffed.

“I lost count after the tenth version. The names don’t even make sense- what the heck is it supposed to think when you call it ‘Noodle Pants?’ Hell, my cat doesn’t even have have a name. I call it ‘Cat’. It knows exactly who it is.”